Now what?

Last night my father passed away. This week a year ago a tumor was removed and we found out he had terminal brain cancer. I missed his passing by only a few minutes. As I walked into the door of the room, I saw my father's body surrounded by those that he loved. He looked peaceful, free of pain, struggles, and his furrowed brow was finally relaxed. He was not there and yet he was. We spent a few hours afterwards with him and I think my dad's lighthearted nature was evident in the room as we talked about him. 

As I came home with my mom and climbed into bed late last night I just kept thinking "now what?" What kind of a new reality are we about to experience as a family? 

This morning I have found comfort in the words of Elder Cook: 

"The “now what” in the face of death in this life and the “now what” in contemplation of life after death are at the heart of the questions of the soul that the restored gospel of Jesus Christ answers so beautifully in the Father’s plan of happiness." 

I can't tell you how the next few days will go for my mom who lost her husband. I can't tell you how hard it may be to see my children seeing the lifeless body of a grandpa they loved so much. I can't tell you how many memories will come flooding back to me in the next few days and bring me to tears, but I do know that I don't have to worry too much about the "now what?" with my dad because of this: 

11 Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection--Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.

12 And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.

Alma 40:11-12

It's ok for us to be sad, grieve, and think about those we love. Elder Nelson stated: 

"We can’t fully appreciate joyful reunions later without tearful separations now. The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life" 

Loosing a loved one isn't easy for anyone, but I find comfort in the gospel of Jesus Christ and the words of His servants. Today I am grateful for the covenants my parents made, years before I was born, in the Lord's holy temple because of this:  

"Loving relationships continue beyond the doors of death and judgment. Family ties endure because of sealings in the temple. Their importance cannot be overstated." Elder Nelson 

THIS is our Heavenly Father's plan of happiness. THIS is the "now what?"

It's fall, but feels like summer

It seems like September never got the memo that it is actually supposed to be fall not summer. The kids have had a great time playing outside the past couple of weeks but we know that the weather is quickly changing as we have cold mornings and cool nights. We are taking advantage of the weather while we can. I'm sure we will miss it in a few weeks!

This little power wheels truck belongs to our neighbor, but we might as well just buy it from them since Jack probably drives it around more than anyone. He asks about it every morning and I have to remind him that it is not really his! He loves driving the cute girls around the circle in his sweet ride. I also can't believe how many kids they pile into this thing. I think the record is 7-8 kids. I am surprised it keeps moving with all of them in there. . He keeps telling me he needs a "Jeep" of his own but seeing as he hasn't ridden his bike in the last month I am not convinced this won't make him a lazy bum.

One Sunday evening we went on a ride in daddy's car (the kid's favorite ride) and found this fun park in Millville. It was a bit chilly and wet from the rain the week before but that didn't stop us from having some good fun together. My kids really are the best of friends and it makes me so happy seeing them play together. 

 Of course the start of colder weather does have it's advantages...hopefully less baths for these kids and less laundry for mommy.

September so far

Nothing to be ashamed about not blogging for 9 months right?! I'm so bad at this. Time to play a little catch up. Here are some pictures from our September so far. 

On the 3rd I had my 16 week Dr. appointment. Everything looks good and we have a good strong heartbeat. These kids were so good. They really have become best friends since Haken has gone to school. I often find them outside playing with each other without any other kids around. Makes my heart happy to see Jack taking care of his little sister.

Gracie has become a little diva and figured out how to dress/undress herself. It can really be a problem some days. Especially when all she wants to wear is her swimming suit. 

Jack started a little joyschool with two other little boys. I taught the first week and we learned about bugs. The next week he went on a caterpillar hunt and unfortunately didn't find any caterpillars but had a great time playing in the mud afterwards. I wish I would have gotten a picture, he was covered in mud from head to toe. They have so much fun together on Tuesdays and we are excited for all of the new things he will learn. 

Having a ladybug snack made out of apples and raisins. 

 We have the best neighborhood and I am sad at the thought of winter coming. These spontaneous play groups happen everyday but this one was especially fun because we had all of these kiddos out playing nice with each other for a solid hour. Of course Haken was the organizer and the "boss" of the whole group. I love these kids.

 We planted some trees to add variety and give us some privacy. We ripped out the grass and created a flowerbed around the rock that was already there (thank heavens we don't have to mow around it anymore). We ended up bringing in 4 yards of dirt to build up the flowerbed. It was quite the job and we were very grateful to neighbors who have trucks they don't mind us borrowing. Can't wait until these trees grow up. We decided not to do the fruit trees we had planned. I was a little disappointed but I didn't want to have to worry about the deer as we already have a big deer problem with our other plants.

 Gracie grew up and also had her first haircut by daddy (apparently it was a big month for her because most of the pictures are of her.) She is really growing up before my eyes and I just can't help but capture her while she is still my baby.

Sporting her new do. 

Looking so grown up before church

We realized about a week ago that we had a mouse living in our garage. Shad opened up the garage door and saw it run across. Apparently it has been living off of the crumbs in our recycling. After a few days of opening up the door and being scared to death I made it to the store to get some sticky traps. It really was the last straw when I started to spot tons of droppings on the stairs that my kids use everyday. Within 4 hours that mouse took the bait. Being the manly man my husband is he disposed of the cute little thing by drowning it in a bucket of water, bagging it up, and throwing it in the trashcan. It was pretty hard to watch. Kinda felt bad for the cute little thing but victorious at the same time. Hope we don't have to deal with that ever again. 

And last but not least, here is my fat picture at 18 weeks today. I seriously can't wait to get past this awkward fat stage. Maternity clothes are too big and my normal clothes don't fit. I think I might have felt the baby the other day, but it is hard to tell since I don't sit down long enough to know for sure.  

Walk the walk

Every year JDRF does a 3 mile walk to raise funds for type 1 diabetes research. We haven't even been through a year of diabetes with Jack and I am already hoping for a cure everyday. I am so happy for all of the technology that is out there but honestly it gets really old day after day trying to manage it all. My hat goes off to people who have dealt with this for years on end or virtually their whole life. After 9 months I am so ready to be done and pray for a cure.

This is why I felt that we needed to do our part this year and participate in the fundraising for JDRF by participating in the walk. I was amazed at the response from our friends and family. So many donated and we ended up doubling our goal of $200. I honestly didn't know what to expect when I made our goal. I hate asking people for money, especially when I already feel like they give so much. Our family and friends were so generous and didn't even think twice about it. It's really hard to resist a donation in behalf of cute little Jack.

We also had my parents, one of my friends, and my brother and sister-in-law and their boys come up for the the actual walk in Logan. It was so fun to have their support there for our little super Jack-Jack. I think Jack loved the attention and had a really great day.

We are excited for the walk next year and already have an action plan to raise even more money. The future looks bright for diabetes research and I can't wait until Jack will reap the benefits of the generosity of our friends and family through JDRF research.

All of the T1D's at the walk posing for a picture

This lady was so sweet. Jack was looking uncomfortable so she
offered to have him hold her hand.

Helping cut the starting line. Jack really liked
the big scissors.

Super Jack

TEAM JACK-JACK

Friday Night, Pizza Night: Take 2

Experimental pizza Friday night has been a tradition in our family for over three years. I posted about it three years ago when we started. We don't hit every single Friday, but the ones that we are home for are pizza and movie night. It has also been a great excuse to invite people over. No one would turn down homemade pizza. So pizza night also turned into our friend night and we got to know a lot of people we wouldn't have otherwise.

We actually started pizza night for me originally. It was at a time when I was really struggling in finding direction in my life. I only had one child and as we sat and waited for the next one to come with a few failed attempts I started to get discouraged and wondered what my purpose was except to have children. I needed something to occupy my mind and my time besides thinking about all of the babies that I wanted. I spent a lot of my time researching and finding new recipes, shopping for the ingredients, and making it with the people I loved so much.

Although finding things to occupy my time is NOT a problem for me anymore with three kids, pizza night reminds me of that difficult time and how I found a way to focus on things that I could control instead of those that I could not. It's a tradition that probably won't ever die in our family but will just change with time. The latest discovery being how easy it is to make knock off "Wingers" wings to go with that pizza (Shad's specialty).

I love the versatility of pizza. You really can put anything on pizza. I also found an awesome pizza dough recipe that makes it way easy. I love this recipe because you can actually make the dough a night or even days in advance and stick it in the fridge. It actually makes it better. We tried a lot of different dough recipes in the beginning and this one just couldn't be beat.

Here are a few tips that we found in making pizza if you want to try it yourself:

1. ALWAYS use a pizza stone. You just have to. It is not the same if you don't.

2. Heat your oven to 475-500 degrees with the pizza stone in the oven for up to an hour. You want the sucker good and hot so it cooks the crust quickly and lightly melts the cheese. The toppings don't need to be "cooked" anyway.

3. Use a pizza peel, or something like it, to pull the pizzas in and out of the oven. We were too cheap to buy one until just 6 months ago and were using two pieces of masonite board Shad had wrapped in wax paper along with some big spatulas. I wish I would have taken a picture of us using it before we got rid of it because it was pretty hilarious. We are pretty awesome at "jimmy rigging." If you plan on making pizza a lot, buy a peel. We use a thin metal one like this one. It does the job and more.

4. Cornmeal is your best friend. You must use cornmeal on the underside of your pizza before you put the toppings on or it won't be sliding off of that peel onto the pizza stone. Test it out and make sure it slides easily before you put the toppings on. There is nothing worse than making a pretty pizza and having it destroyed as you try to put it in the oven because you didn't put enough cornmeal. The cornmeal also helps to give the crust a little "crunch," for lack of a better word.

5. My dough recipe only takes 9-10 minutes in a hot oven to bake. Watch your pizza carefully.

6. Only use mozzarella cheese. I grew up with cheddar cheese pizza. I never loved homemade pizza. Now I know it was mostly the cheese that was the problem.

7. When the pizza comes out, take a stick of butter and rub it all over the crust and sprinkle powdered parmesan cheese or this yummy mixture. You will thank me when you get to the end of your pizza.

8. Try making your own pizza sauce on the spot. Shad has mastered this. He throws a combination of fresh tomatoes, tomato paste, Italian spices, and fresh garlic into the food processor and "WALA!" Enough sauce for one pizza!

9. Having a double oven is awesome. That is all.

10. Don't be afraid to try new combinations but also make a pepperoni pizza every time for back up. Most of the time our kids aren't as adventurous as us.

Here are a few recipes that we have tried in the past. Some have made it to the table more than others but I can say that there really wasn't one that we absolutely hated. The kids even liked most of them.

 You'll have to forgive me on the pictures. I am usually so anxious to eat when the pizza comes out that I have a hard time getting a good picture or really a picture at all sometimes. Most of these pictures were taken years ago. We are due to try a few more pizzas here soon. Shad said he is getting tired of these combinations.

CPK Jamaican Jerk Chicken Pizza
Somewhere online

This one is still one of my favorites. The spicy chicken with the sweet sauce base and touches of roasted peppers just makes it awesome.
You can go all crazy and look up a Jamaican Jerk sauce for the base or you can just buy this:

It is pretty amazing stuff. The first time we made this I was at the store in search of all of the ingredients to make the sauce and this was sitting on the shelf for about $5. Totally worth it. I'm always about taking the easy way out. Makes this pizza a winner for me every week. It's also great on chicken and other things too. If you are only using it for this pizza it lasts a long time when you are only using 1/2-1 cup each time.

Anyway, that is the base for the pizza. Just pour it right on the crust right out of the bottle.

Toppings:

- 1/2 lb boneless skinless chicken breast- pounded thin

- 2 tsp. Jerk seasoning (McCormick makes this but you can also just put your own combination of spicy spices like cayenne, paprika, chill power, etc. The key is that the chicken is SPICY)

*Rub the jerk seasoning all over the chicken and grill or pan fry. I stick it on my little George Forman 

- 1/4 cup thin sliced yellow onion

- 1/3 cup roasted red/yellow peppers (I do my own. If you don't know how here is a great tutorial)

- 1/4 cup crispy bacon

- 1 T. green onions

- Mozzarella Cheese

CPK BBQ Chicken Pizza

Food.com

- Chicken Breast, cooked and cut into cubes

- 1/2 cup BBQ sauce (any variety)

- Mozzarella Cheese

- 2 T. chopped, fresh cilantro

- 2 T. smoked gouda cheese (we've never used this. I could never find it at the grocery store)

- 1/4 red onion, sliced thin (I usually use yellow since I have that on hand)

Coat chicken in 2T. BBQ sauce. Spread the rest on the base of pizza. Top with remaining toppings, except for the cilantro which is added after baking.

BLT Pizza

Family Fun Magazine

- 9 strips bacon

- 2 T. Dijon mustard

- 4 oz Mozz cheese

- 2 oz Parm cheese (or just use all Mozz)

- 2 medium tomatoes

- 1/2 T. lemon juice

- 1 T. Mayonnaise (kraft "spicy Mayo" is pretty amazing)

- 1/2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce

- 2 Cups finely shredded romaine lettuce

- Avocado, sliced (optional)

Top pizza with Dijon mustard, then cheese, tomatoes, and bacon. Bake. Mix lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, and romaine lettuce. Cool pizza 5 minutes then top with lettuce mixture and sliced avocado.

Ultimate California Moon Doggie Pizza

Food.com

- 1/4 cup pesto sauce

- 6 oz grilled chicken breast

- 1 jar marinated artichoke hearts (or 1/2 can)

- 1/3 cup sun-dried tomatoes

- Mozzarella Cheese

Top pizza with pesto sauce, cheese, chopped artichoke hearts, sun dried tomatoes, and sliced chicken breast. Bake.

CPK Thai Chicken Pizza

Food.com

We have only made this one once and it was a long time ago so I don't remember it too well except for that it was kind of different. We have been thinking of making it again soon. 

*This makes 2 bigger pizzas

Spicy peanut sauce (base)

- 1/2 cup peanut butter

- 1/2 cup hoisin sauce (great for lettuce wraps too!)

- 1 T. honey

- 2 tsp red wine vinegar

- 2 tsp minced ginger (or more if you wish)

- 2 minced garlic cloves

- 2 T. toasted sesame oil

- 2 tsp soy sauce

- 1 tsp Vietnamese chili sauce (or dried chili flakes)

- 1 T. oyster sauce

- 2 T. water

Toppings:

- 10 oz cooked chicken breast- cut into cubes

- 2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese

- 4 scallions, slivered diagonally

- 1/2 cup white bean sprouts

- 1/4 cup shredded carrot

- 2 T. chopped roasted peanuts

- 2 T. chopped fresh cilantro

- *We also added mushrooms

Directions:

Combine sauce ingredients in a small pan over medium heat. Bring the sauce to boil; boil gently for one minute. Divide into 2 portions for use on chicken and pizza; set aside. Coat the chicken with 1/4 cup sauce. Set aside in refrigerator. Spread sauce over pizza. Cover with cheese, green onions, bean sprouts, carrots, chicken, and peanuts. Transfer to oven and bake. Sprinkle cilantro on top after removed from oven.

Greek Pizza

allrecipes.com

This one wasn't my favorite. Shad seemed to like it better than I did. I couldn't get over the mayonnaise base. If you wanted to I bet you could substitute Greek yogurt, but I have never tried.

- 1/2 cup mayonnaise

- 4 cloves garlic, minced

- 1 cup crumbled feta cheese, divided

- 1/2 cup oil-packed sun dried tomatoes, coarsely chopped

- 1 T. oil from the sun dried tomatoes

- 1/4 cup pitted kalamata olives, coarsely chopped (we used black olives)

- 1 tsp dried oregano

- 2 cups baby spinach leaves

- 1/2 small red onion, halved and thinly sliced

Mix mayonnaise, garlic, and 1/2 cup feta in a small bowl. Spread mixture over pizza, then top with tomatoes, olives, and oregano. Bake. Toss spinach and onion with the 1 Tb. sun-dried tomato oil. Top hot pizza with spinach mixture and remaining 1/2 cup feta cheese. Return to oven and bake until cheese melts about 2 minutes longer. 

Alfredo Pizza

myself

This is one that I have been making long before we started having regular pizza nights at our house. We really liked alfredo so I made a pizza with all of the fixin's on it. Recently Shad made a version of this and used an alfredo packet but added extra sauteed garlic to it and thickened it a little more. It was very yummy. 

- 1/2 cup Alfredo sauce (make your own, canned, or from a packet. I prefer packets. They make about a cup of sauce and they only cost $.33)

- grilled chicken

- olives

- tomatoes

- mushrooms

- Mozzarella cheese

- spinach (optional)

- bacon (optional)

- Italian seasoning

Spread the alfredo sauce as your base. Sprinkle with cheese and toppings. Bake.