As a parent I feel like I am sometimes guessing on how to handle things with my kids. Sometimes I feel bad for them because it is a "trial and error" thing most of the time. We really are just learning together.
Well, 2 weeks ago I had planned a trip to the Treehouse children's museum with the boys. I was rushing to get ready and get the boys ready so we could leave. After I gave Haken a 15 minute warning he started to complain and whine to me about how he didn't want to go because he wanted to stay home and watch his favorite show that had a new episode on later that day. At that moment I realized that something needed to be done with what has become an obsession with the T.V.
Haken is at the age where he really loves and looks forward to watching the preschool shows that come on in the mornings. They are mostly educational and teach him good things, but he wasn't really ever "playing." Although I really have to blame the obsession on myself. During the winter we spend a LOT of time inside. That is just the way it has to be when you live in Utah and everything fun is at least 30 minutes away. During the summer he plays outside basically all day so there isn't much time for T.V. For the past 4 months or so on a normal day he pretty much watched T.V. from about 9:30 (when we got home from our workout group) until 12:00 or 1:00 depending on if it was a preschool day. That is roughly 2 1/2-3 1/2 hours of T.V. a day, (which research says is pretty normal for a kid his age)!! Again, it is my fault because I would just get busy with the day, making breakfast, taking a shower, cleaning up the kitchen, starting the laundry, etc...I swear it was 11:30 by the time I could focus on anything else. I felt like such a bad mom!
So, after realizing that Haken would choose a show over going to a children's museum that day I decided to have a Family Home Evening that night on how we spend our time. Kind of a "good, better, best" lesson for a 4 yr old. I am so excited that it went over well with him. I was expecting him to be so mad with the rules that we made, but he wasn't. As a family, we decided that he could watch 3 shows a day and he could decide which ones they were. If he wanted to he could substitute one of those shows for 30 minutes of a video game time since he loves playing the Wii. We don't have DVR so he just has to watch his shows when they come on, but he has learned that in the morning he picks which ones he wants to watch and then we turn on and off the T.V. accordingly. I found that most of the time he was watching shows that he didn't really care much about, just because he wanted to watch the show that came next. He actually turns the T.V. off now all by himself once his show is over and he counts down the shows, knowing how many he has left during the day. There have been so many good things that have come out of this. Not only is he watching less T.V., but he has actually started to play with his toys which have just sat there for months. His imaginative play has come back and he has become so creative lately. He is more cooperative and not angry when I tell him it's time to turn it off, because he was part of the decision making process. He has really been more cooperative with lots of other things unrelated to the T.V. as well.
I also feel like I benefited from my own lesson because I realized that I too could do better on limiting my "screen time." I would be just fine not watching T.V. at all, but I do like to get online and check out all my usual websites. I decided that I too would choose my time wisely and only get on once all of my "chores" were done for the day (which is sometimes after the boys go to bed!) I am also working out and reading my scriptures before the boys get up instead of going to the workout group at the church everyday, helping me to have a better handle on my morning. Although I do still go twice a week just to keep my sanity and have some "women time."
I love making a change in parenting and seeing the benefits of the change in my family. We aren't perfect, but I think seeing things that need to be changed is the first step to becoming a better parent.
