It has been almost 4 years since I became a mother and yet it feels like I haven't known anything else already. When I was little I honestly just wanted to be a mom. Some girls would say that they wanted to be doctors or teachers, but I always knew I wanted to stay at home with my children. Now that I am a mom, although it is hard...most of the time...I haven't regretted my decision at all. I love being there for every little milestone and even for the little temper tantrums that happen. I am glad that I get to work through them with my children instead of someone else. I think there is something to be learned in every little thing that happens at home. Not to say that it is easy, but being able to build on every experience that I have with my children, even the hard ones, is valuable to me.
My little boys really are the sweetest things in the world. I couldn't imagine my life without them.
Haken has always been such a "people pleaser" and it sure does make things easier as a parent. He is genuinely trying to do what is right and wants to please us in whatever he does He is always looking for praise from us. I just hope that I give him enough sometimes. He probably deserves a lot more than I give him. As the first child sometimes I feel bad that he is somewhat of an "experiment." We don't know what we are doing, so I'm glad he is patient with us.
My little Jack is quite the little charmer already as you can tell from this picture. He is such a fun little baby to have in our home. He has a mild and happy disposition which definitely makes it easier as a mom. I can't believe he will be 5 months old this week. Time really does fly by faster the second time around. I guess as a mother it is my job to kiss him and squeeze him as long as he will let me (not that I could resist anyway).
Along with my reflections on being a mother myself, my thoughts have also been turned to other mothers I know that have made an impact on my life.
5 years ago last March, Shad's mother passed away due to colon cancer. I thought about her today and had a greater appreciation for what a fabulous mother she was. She raised 6 boys who all went on missions, got married in the temple, and have successful families. I didn't realize until I had children of my own what a great feat this really was. I only knew her for about a year since she passed away shortly after we got married, but I feel like I knew her much longer. She was an amazing woman who always spoke her mind, but what she said was always valued by everyone. She must have known what she was talking about after raising 6 boys into adulthood with such success. I'm grateful that she raised such a loving husband for me and a great father for my boys.
My grandmothers have also been great examples to me as mothers. My Grandma Evans passed away around the same time as Shad's mother. She is a woman that I will always admire and look up to. She was generous, tidy, and made the best potato salad in the world (she always left out the onions just for me). She was an amazing hand quilter and to this day her quilts are circulating throughout my house. I suppose that I got my love for sewing from her. She raised two great boys, (one being my dad) teaching them that if something is worth doing it is worth doing right in
every aspect (I think her perfectionism also rubbed off on me). I love her and miss her often.
My Grandma Miller has become one of my great heros. She has raised 7 children (5 boys and 2 girls, one being my mom). I only hope that one day my home can be as hers where everyone who comes in calls her "grandma." She is the grandma that everyone only hopes to have one day. She is an amazing cook, comforter, and gives the best back scratches ever! (just back up into her and you will find out what I mean). I worked with her quite a few years at Bridal Image during my teenage years and I will never forget all of the times we couldn't stop laughing in the back room because of something silly. She has a tender heart which is the reason why neither my mom, nor I, can look at her when we are emotional...it becomes a chain reaction and we all start crying. She is a great Christ-like example for me to look up to. I am grateful to have her in my life and that my children can enjoy kisses from their "Grandma G.G."
Of course I saved the best for last being my own mother. In the past few months I have really realized what an amazing woman my mom really is. After my dad lost his job in September a lot of weight was tossed onto my mom as she worked to support her family and take care of the needs of my sister Jenni. In all the extra stress that she had, she didn't complain and took it one day at a time. She made time for everyone and never had anything bad to say. Her uplifting attitude gave me a perspective on what is really important, even when times are hard. She has been so patient with me throughout my life and always let me make my own decisions without criticis
m (which as a parent, I have learned is hard to do...) I am so glad that I had the opportunity to work with her throughout my teenage years at the bridal store. Even if that store doesn't make our family loads of money, it sure has brought me close to many of the women that I love in my life. I only hope that I can be half the mom that my mom has been in my life. Often times I find myself thinking "I sound just like my mom" or "my mom would do it just like this." I really think that isn't such a bad thing, in fact, I prefer it that way! I love you mom!
